On a recent trip to Chicago my parents questioned me about my single relationship status. Like any other Indian parent with a kid in their late twenties they are ever impatient, wanting to see me get married. They’re one line of advice is the subject of this post:
“Son, if you see a girl that is 75% okay then you should go for her…”
Huh? What does that mean? Was I supposed to be keeping a grade sheet for every girl that I was interested in? No one told me there was a grade sheet for this thing!
My folks think I’m picky. In their mind saying no to someone must have meant saying no to a trivial issue. She’s too short/tall, too skinny/fat, skin too dark/light, or stank too much. In their mind, we are all the same… Most of us were born in the same “village of America”, attending malayalee Pentecostal churches with the same beliefs and values. The ONLY difference besides career, family background, and spirituality can be the trivial ones. If 1 out of 4 of those trivial issues doesn’t float your boat, don’t stop and get hitched!
The miscommunication comes from the simple fact that most malu parents do not really know how different we all are. How our likes and dislikes, values, and beliefs are so different. How men and women in my martial scope have such vast and varied personalities. I am looking at a group of a few hundred women and narrowing down to a few that have the most basic of qualities I’m looking for. Not all, but some. Maybe a 75% match. Of course in order for it to work she’ll have to like me too….or at least 75% like.
